Are your New Year resolutions weighing you down due to overwhelming self-sabotage and procrastination? Discover how to reset your boundaries, become your unconscious best friend and discover the “true blocks” holding you back in just 30 minutes with this technique from Vivienne Joy, Mindset Reset Expert and Business Coach.
You may find that using Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) could become the behavioural change-maker that powers you through your resolutions to make 2023 the New Year that you deserve!
There is always something that makes us doubt our ability to change our behaviour. Thankfully as humans, we have an enquiring mind to help us find out why and the benefits of staying stuck. It is usually an “uncomfortable pathway” that leads to change. Its direction has been set by positive intentions to keep us safe. Your New Year resolutions require you to explore deep within your mindset that will safely release you from your comfort zone and reset your path into the future you deserve.
Resolutions include boundaries that you have already set:
* You have decided which of your usual behaviours aren’t serving you anymore
* You have chosen the elements of these behaviours that you need to change
* You have visualised in your minds-eye that you have changed these behaviours
* You have communicated how that feels and the new you to yourself
* You have applied the changes and noticed yourself using/ not using new rules
For whatever reason, this is where you got stuck. You need to adjust your behaviour and adapt as your environment changes to get back on track. But how?
The first step is to say “I forgive you” to yourself.
Accept all you have done so far to help, protect and direct yourself or connect you to a safer path. Truly thank yourself and forgive all the negative words of wisdom that you have heard reinforcing this pattern of self-sabotage and procrastination. Be aware of your thoughts and behaviours, past and present, and notice how it feels. Listen to the silence in your mind and let your thoughts filter in one by one. This is when you will get a real understanding of yourself. Write your thoughts down under the headings:
* I forgive
* I accept
* I am grateful for
If you are thinking about someone else, send them your forgiveness to transfer it. Resentment can only harm you in its process. Ask yourself, “What is the higher purpose of this behaviour?” You know what you need to change. This acceptance is the first step.
The second step is to say, “I believe in myself because…”
Find all the evidence that supports this; it could be your resilience, energy or kindness. Imagine if you thought of all the reasons to believe in yourself daily. Write it down in detail. Ask yourself, “Why are you doubting yourself?” Again write this in detail and let your mind flow.
The third and last step is to list all the challenging resolutions.
Which of your resolutions are you procrastinating about? Which ones feel overwhelming? What self-sabotage behaviour is stopping you? If you have some that feel like the tip of the iceberg, it means that they need to be more specific. Take those off your list and break them down with subheadings. That overwhelming resolution was a “New Year’s Project”, so it is no wonder you didn’t manage it. Taking all your resolutions into consideration, did chunking them down help? It may not be a matter of size that keeps you procrastinating and avoiding change.
There are three reasons you avoid New Year resolutions:
* You need to upskill
* You are frightened of change
* You do not value the outcome enough
Build in value if you are not valuing your New Year resolutions anymore. When you set boundaries and use this NLP process to keep yourself on track, you can make changes as your empowered self. The next time you feel like self-sabotaging your resolution, admit to yourself that you are struggling, forgive and believe in yourself and challenge the thoughts and feelings that come to the surface as you chunk them down, or challenge why you are becoming so “resolution-disillusioned”. Remember to congratulate yourself on both creating your New Year resolutions and throughout the process of sticking to them.
Vivienne Joy has a wealth of experience in human resources, advertising, management, budgeting, forecasting, and product rationalisation. She is a Master NLP Practitioner and a member of the International Authority for Professional Coaching and Mentoring (IAPC&M). Website: https://she-enjoys.com/