Breaking Down and Building Up

2020, which allowed me to slowly get back to functioning again. However, the side effects of these weren’t pleasant, and I felt as though I was losing myself again because of the ‘numbing’ effect of the medication. Due to the pandemic, any other forms of support were not available, and even my previous coping techniques such as walks with friends, meditation circles, yoga classes and women’s groups were all only running online – something else I struggled with. 

As we approached Christmas, I was struggling with the side effects of my medication and made the decision that I needed to find a way to change things completely in my life to allow me to be a better Mum to my girls, run (and grow) my business and start to enjoy life again. I worked with a nutritionist and homeopath to put together a plan to support the tapering of my medication as well as reviewing my diet to ensure it was optimal for my health.  

In 2021, I have changed my diet to cut out gluten, caffeine, dairy and alcohol, added in supplements that were lacking, and used homeopathy to support the tapering of my medication. I have started to get out for walks with friends and taken up both aerial yoga and wild swimming, the latter being so beneficial for my mental health. The first day I swam, my anxiety was at level 9, and I walked out of the lake at 2. 

I have lost over a stone in weight during and have built new connections with people who I have been able to talk to when I am struggling to ensure I have support. 

I no longer want to die and am enjoying life and all it has to offer whilst using breathing techniques when I start to panic. 

At the age of 40, I have come through two mental breakdowns, withdrawn from anti-depressants twice, become a Mum to two girls, am a wife and business owner. I now want to find my voice, share my story and help to inspire others. 

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