I made a bloody good attempt at suicide. What I mean by that is…I succeeded! Divine intervention however, proved that it was not my time and I was found and revived. This was the climax, the culmination of years of abuse, heartache and hurt and as I slipped away, I KNEW that I was meant for more. I felt such a pull to life as it was leaving me, that I knew this could not be the end.
It was not! It was the beginning.
Before that time, I had lived and enjoyed my life regardless of all my traumas, because I knew that everything we experience is our choice to experience in the positive or the negative, and that both of those are only really concepts. We give emotion and feeling and meaning to every word we utter.
After that experience I began seeing my life, my work, my purpose, my mission, my gifts, skills, abilities, and expertise, as something that so many women in the world would grow from, and I made a promise to myself to fully express myself and expand into the bigness that was inside me, in a way I never had before.
It was a catalyst. It happened for me and I am grateful for it, just as I am for everything in my life. You see, everything in our lives is given to us to see whether we will fall or rise. And it is important to understand that there is no judgement in either path. There may come a time when you will be handed so much, too much, and you may fall but you still have the choice to rise, again and again. I love the symbolism of the phoenix for this exact reason, because burning down all you are, over and over again in order to rebirth in to a new self, is powerful, and it is everyone’s choice.
There will never be anything in life that is bigger than us and what we can handle. Though sometimes it may feel like it. There will never be anything that is worth ending life over, though sometimes it may feel like the only option. It is not!
I have grown, undergone many changes and up levels since that experience, and have become a supremely successful parent of a gorgeous 13-year-old boy, who is all light and love and our bond is fierce and golden. I have deeply bonded friendships. I have a thriving busines which is an extension of my life, and I get to guide my clients as they learn to deeply connect with their true selves.
I am learning, growing and rising every day without fear or inhibition, and I get to be the expansive force in my world. You can choose to be a phoenix; you can rise no matter your experiences and find the success you desire.
I did.
