French philosopher René Descartes once said, ‘Conquer yourself rather than the world’. From an age of enlightenment to defining a starting point to existence, the Cogito argument was and is Descartes remedy: Even if you doubt the existence of everything, you cannot doubt the existence of your own mind. Doubting indicates thinking, and thinking indicates existence. So, one thought-provoking and autumnal Sunday morning, I found myself unexpectedly hit with so many questions.
Was I thriving as a single mother to 3 daughters? Did I have a healthy integrated balance in life? Had I accurately discovered who I was? Had I managed to lift the veil of illusions and see the world through the eyes of my higher self? And the big bulldozer questions that morning? Was I enjoying my own existence? Were my children happy? Was I happy? Did I love myself enough? What was my purpose? And you know what? That morning changed my life!
The following week I began to plan for the year ahead. I started to visualise with clarity the therapy through food business I’d dreamed of creating, my passion for writing and how I hoped to share more of it. Might my writing or I inspire others? It all felt tangible. Some say that imagination is the highest form of intelligence. I began to imagine what my life could be like.
Later that week I began journaling. Visualisations followed. Long country walks came after that. ‘Design your life’ are the words I repeatedly heard in my head. I discovered that by relaxing my mind and allowing ‘me time,’ I went from thinking “I wonder…” to “could self-love be my winning formula?”

As a person with a penchant for helping others, my light bulb business began to develop. Doors opened with ease, and my therapy through food social enterprise – Happy Asparagus was born! Having had many years of first-hand experience around Asperger’s and autism and having recently received a personal Asperger’s diagnosis, I had grown to accept and embrace all of me. From my quirks and creative flair to my approach of doing everything wholeheartedly. My ability to hyper-focus, discover patterns, and sculpt from memory began to make sense. Subsequently, I knew Happy Asparagus would benefit others on the spectrum. At last, I began to get out of my own way!
You know what I discovered through my journey of self-love? Relinquishing the idea of who you are expected to be and being exactly who you are, allows personal power and internal growth. This is the moment you often begin to answer the burning questions inside of you. You see yourself and the world around you with clarity. You begin to realise that your life can be your own creation. And that it is largely an extension of yourself! At the core, you soulfully see that you are fully supported by love, by loving yourself. So, why not go and conquer your corner of the world?