In a far cry from the advice of glossy magazines or bonk-busters, creating a strong, healthy and robust relationship takes more than sexy lingerie, red lipstick, dim lighting, mood music and an aphrodisiac-fuelled dinner.
Yes, they might help create a night of lust-filled passion but when the lingerie is returned to the knicker drawer, the lipstick relegated to the bottom of the make-up bag, the dinner is still sitting on the credit card, the kids are complaining that they’re bored and your partner is oblivious to what needs doing around the house, it takes a strong woman to still feel passionate, sexy and full of desire for her partner. Deep down she feels anything but and is possibly feeling a little bit of shame and resentment for that lust-filled night.
The lingerie, food and music are great, but in an attempt to rekindle romance and passion they’re just a sticking plaster, a temporary fix until the same old arguments and resentments rear their head once more.
Too many women continue applying sticking plaster after sticking plaster in the hope that one day it will stick permanently. Or worse still, they spend years searching for the solution and believe they’ve found it in the arms of another, subconsciously thinking ‘this one’s broken, I need a new one’.
A relationship is like a piece of quality furniture; if you know that underneath the shabby, chipped paintwork it’s actually sound and really you love that piece of furniture, why would you throw it away? It evokes great memories and when you look at it, you’re transported back to various times when it featured prominently and supported you through good times and bad. You don’t really want to discard it, but you don’t have the expertise to properly restore it.
You watch numerous TV programmes and videos showing you multitude ways to restore your furniture, but you don’t have the time or ability to fix it yourself. Instead you shop online or visit IKEA and buy a replacement item, relegating the old furniture to the garage or the tip.
Years pass, and the new furniture gets replaced time and again as it wears out quickly and loses its appeal, and you wonder ‘if only I’d restored that old piece, I’d still have it and the memories and feelings that go with it. It was sound, reliable and supportive’.
Strong, healthy and robust relationships take work. Over time they lose their initial lustre and polish but at the core they remain as solid and functional as they always were. Like tatty furniture, they can be restored with the help of an expert who knows exactly what they’re doing.
If you have a leak, call a plumber. If you have shabby furniture, call a furniture restorer. If your relationship is a bit worn around the edges call a relationships coach to help you unlock the passion, unconditional love and happiness in your relationship to positively impact all areas of your life.
