When I was asked to contribute a chapter to this book on success, my first thought was: “But am I successful enough?!”
Thankfully, I’ve been working on my mindset long enough to know that this is the fear behind all fears. It’s a question that most of us ask ourselves before we embark on anything new. And I’ve learned that this is merely a question, not a fact. So, I challenged that thought: Am I successful enough? It lead me to the better question: What is success?
To me, success is highly personal. What it looks and feels like can be very different for each of us. And there are times in my life where I had what looked like success, but didn’t have what felt like success, and visa versa.
For example, when I started my own business, I attracted many impressive and high-paying clients. When I talked about my work with others, their response told me that I was successful. My bank balance told me I was successful. But inside, I was miserable. I wasn’t engaging in work that felt meaningful. And the demands of my work kept me from being the present and happy Mum I wanted to be. However, I only realised this when I was eight-years into my business and on the brink of burn out!
It was a really challenging moment. To realise that everything I’d been working so hard towards was taking me further and further from the life and impact I wanted.
At the same time, I remain grateful for that experience. Sometimes we must hit a brick wall or reach rock bottom, to have the clean slate we need to think differently and create the experiences, relationships and life that we really want.
For me, hitting rock bottom woke me up to the situation I was in. It showed me that I was focused on everyone else’s definition of success, not my own. And it gave me the opportunity to choose to live and work differently. What a gift!
Since then, I’ve been on a more conscious journey to ensure that I am not just achieving what looks like success on the outside, but what feels like success on the inside too.
Today, success for me feels much like love.
It’s having quality time for the people I love and projects that light my soul. It’s continuing to grow my skills and knowledge and helping others to grow alongside me. It’s having the courage to say ‘yes’ to opportunities that both excite and scare me – and having the compassion and grace to not worry about the outcome. It’s how, in noticing the little moments in every day that make me smile and feel alive, every day feels special.
The secret to success?
I don’t believe there is one secret.
But if you create your own definition of success. Invest in yourself. Place boundaries around your own needs knowing this is self-full, not selfish. And keep learning, you’ll create the self-belief, energy and confidence needed to make even your biggest goals and dreams a reality.
